Virtual Reality Experiences.
Now, guys, it’s time. Say goodbye to the unicorns, we lost them on the course. If you’ve got guts, I’ll give you one minute to remove them – otherwise we’ll take care of them. If you’ve never had any, then you’re in the wrong place: look behind you, on your right; yes, take this corridor, and you’ll see, at the box office, the girls will advise you of a great show of sublime music to listen to on a couch. If you’ve had any – and found it more convenient to take them off so you can do what your head wanted to do, well… all right, you can try to stay. But, you see…
Legendary mode – it’s not for anyone. Therefore, it’s not for you.
There is only one Legend per generation of mankind and you think I’m going to give you my place – for not even ten dollars?
Come on, let’s be serious.
You think I’m joking? Tsss… guys, please come back later.
Legendary mode is only for Legends.
Want to try it ? okay, okay…. hey, don’t come crying that you had a heartache, that you had to stop it, that it was unbearable, or whatever pathetic excuse you’re going to come up with to explain why you couldn’t make it through your 10 minutes of Legend at all.
We’ll keep your 10 dollars and sell you a handkerchief if you want to cry.
Is that clear? If you continue, then I don’t want to hear anything more: not a single ouin-ouin, not a “but” – nothing – silence – the underwater world.
Right – so for the Legendary mode, as you can see, the cables of our Virtual Reality harnesses will need an easy-to-access control that allows you to escape and return to the real world, where cows go on their four legs.
You say cows have legs, don’t you? Really, you Anglo-Saxons are curious people. That’s okay, I like you anyway.
You’ve probably noticed if you’ve ever spent time here that I’m an absolute fan of the Mission: Impossible series.
But then, fan – from head to toe.
So… have you noticed that very often in the series, there’s an arrival on the scene – forbidden – from the air? I say that parachuting into a thunderstorm is ultra-cool – for example. That’s it, you see where I am arriving?
I had already talked about it a bit…
So you jump. There – Altair is below – I wonder if I’m not going to put the legendary wind from home into the experience. There is the World Wind Event at my place every year. Okay, not every time. Every once in a while you’ll get the wind from my house.
But since it’s not Mission : Impossible and you’re not Tom Cruise, you’re not at all on your feet in the end.
If you manage to get somewhere – it will be signaled by a light – you will have the strange sensation of falling into a huge foam bath.
If you arrive somewhere else, you will have the strange sensation of nothing at all: I forget you, you are not Legendary, you think I’m interested in you?
All right, all right, take your feet, your hands, try to reach the goal – you can always try it.
Today I’m debonair.
So you’ve landed and around you, it’s curious, it’s round. Oh ! you’re in a ball. Get your legs up, if you go over, you won’t get very far.
All right, are you stuck in your ball? Go to the heart of Altair now – and here’s my Super Monkey Ball course in “real” just for you. Yes there are holes – yes it’s very very narrow – yes you saw, ? it spins hard – yes sometimes it collapses under your weight. How do you guide yourself ? But with the ears, how come at your age you are still being taught such obvious things?
What do you mean: what do you mean with the ears?
You do have ears, don’t you? pfff all these details – but yes, there will be something on your helmet, right where your ears are, to guide you – if you would stop psychoanalyzing all the time as well.
I told you, there’s a nice show over there to watch on the couch, what are you doing with your gna gna gna – you’re killing my ears – I said : the underwater world – not the henhouse.
Where are the bad guys? Where is the disaster? But come on, guys. You made a mistake in selecting your experience mode. The Heroic Mode was the other one.
No bad guys in the Legendary Mode. The person you’re trying to save is you.
Now that you’ve made it to the big stage in Altair, I thought about rewarding you. Because I’m a nice girl. Adorable even, let’s not be afraid of words – nor of compliments to offer oneself.
You are going to watch the show – it was in the original contract.
All right, all right, all right – you’re not going to watch it normally.
Not even comfortably – I don’t think that word is terribly appropriate for what’s going to happen to you now.
In Legendary mode, you’re only going to be placed in places that go very, very fast, with movements that seem very, very random.
How many boys have dreamed of being hung on a girl’s ankle to ‘see it all’? more than the sand of the desert. Have you dreamed about it? We did. Look at the dancers’ ankles – you’ll see the world differently, I promise you.
Do you like baroque music? No, I’m sure you don’t – you’ll love being on a bow.
Do you love Italian comedies? A little trick on the actors’ fingers?
No, I don’t cut when the actor closes his fist and you can’t see anything at all.
Wait until he opens his hand again.
A romantic comedy? That’s okay, that doesn’t move too much. Yes it is, you didn’t think you could find yourself in a ‘flower’ that comes down towards the audience – or not, there are always some who will get lost in the heights of the stage, others who land backstage. The small black sand gravel used by Bartabas to move his horses, those gravel that flies in all directions, that will be you.
I think you forgot one important point: the whole show won’t be in virtual reality. Not all our shows will be. But those that will be, they will all have something to make you play with all the modes of sensation.
So no chance to escape your destiny, if you wanted a Legendary Destiny
– all right, you can press the stop button.
I warned you: this is the mode where you have to forget that you have guts, otherwise you’re going to throw up everywhere.
They were cute, my fireflies for the children’s sweet mode? You’ll always be in firefly mode, but that way you’ll … Legendary. A tiny little thing that gets thrown around in every direction, at full speed.
And since I’m – besides being adorable – a generous girl – I wouldn’t want you to be in only one place in this Legendary mode.
You’ll have lots and lots of different places.
And as I said: Legendary – you will be the one who will change places.
Hop : jump, grab, stay focused – you’ll get to the new location.
If you’re nowhere, I swear that living the sequel like a soap bubble blown away by the winds will make you want to grab the next place.
Was it cool ?
There has to be a finale.
Without a finale, no entry in the Legend.
Do you think I’m exaggerating? I’m sure you don’t. You and I have crossed that line for a long time now.
For the final, you already need a quiet moment – yes, I’ll let you rest for a while.
And then – how do the big shows end? The very, very big parties that people still talk about months later?
Yes, you’ve got it. But yes I want that.
Where will you be? Yes, you’ve also found out where you’ll be at the fireworks display. I don’t even have to tell you. For the finale, what better place for you than to find yourself propelled towards the stars, surrounded by all those beautiful lights shining around you?
If you pass this…. I give you … all my esteem – it is much more precious than money, or gifts. We can even keep your name on the stone of the Legends of Altair.
But I’m telling you, once again – don’t play that way. It’s too difficult, you’ll hate it.
😀 oui, je sais qui je suis.
Featured Image : Rescue near the island of Ouessant – Brittany – storm Fionn.