Hats & shoes for cheater&actor

e.sport tournament&show – page 6

Satin is a damned cheat. Bubnov when he is sober sells hats. Alliochka makes shoes when he finds leather. And the actor tries to get back on stage.
These four don’t offer any possibility of epic quest – they’ll be right in the goofy – not to say the moron.

If one or the other kills the owners, it will be by mistake. If they manage to steal them, it will be by trying to kill them. And they are still more suited to solutions 3 and 4: to ally themselves with them for future sumptuous affairs or to divide them and thus destroy the beautiful alliance of their enemies.

Satin has an advantage – an ability – that is enormous: he is a cheat, a liar, a shameless one: he would be quite capable of pulling off the murder by accusing someone else in his place – and this is a quality that his team should be able to use.
And because he’s a liar and quick with his hands – it will result in quests that can be quite entertaining.

Who better than a liar to come to the rescue of a poor, grieving, dying wife, who doesn’t commit suicide because nature will do – thank you for her. How to put the poor woman’s mistrust to sleep? But let’s see gentlemen – women like two things: hats and shoes. Bubnov’s hats stink of cheap vodka. On the other hand, Alliochka the nice guy makes such nice shoes… a little card trick and here are the shoes offered to the sad lady … good shoes that protect from the cold.
The plan of Satin the cheat is diabolical: thanks to the sad Anna, he will have access to her husband’s master key and he will have all the evidence to force him, this scoundrel, to take care of his wife. That’s what he says. In truth, this master key is a very practical tool that he sees himself having in his hands to recover the loot by killing the owners and by making poor Anna be accused.
That must be why policeman Medvedev has made Satin his favorite target – and to find a fox, you have to smoke it and make it run.

In the meantime, Bubnov goes crazy with his hats – he has lots of them, he says, in his trunk, under his bed. Hats for men, for women, for ugly, for beautiful, for rainy or windy weather, hats against flies, mosquitoes, phylloxera and even scarlet fever. He is no longer a hat salesman, he is an Amazon all by himself – and he doesn’t make a penny?

Do you know why? Because every time the actor misses an engagement, he eats a hat – it’s a solemn promise he made to the soul of…. in short, it’s very serious, you don’t mess around with deathbed promises.

Then Bubnov’s quest will be clear: he must manage to communicate with the actor’s beloved ghost – to find another solemn promise to be made by the actor. After all, he has nothing to do with this story, he, who is soon to be rich with his magnificent hats.
Obviously, a ghost is not necessarily someone reliable – he may even have worse ideas for Bubnov – but Bubnov cannot know until he has tested it. The problem is that it is the landlord who has the ghost’s sacred relic pendant – the actor left it as a pledge for a few months’ rent. So Bubnov will have to find a way to recover this relic. He may try to exchange it for his hat stash. Mmm… expensive way…. He may try to steal it. Easy … to say. He can try to get it taken by the lady against pretty “hats of Paris” !!! so expensive !!! … he has all the possibilities he wants: as long as he gets the pendant back. The cheapest way is Anna (an horrible hat and all will be cool) & her **** husband and his master key. Yes, but

but this is where Satin and Bubnov would clash: which of the two will win poor Anna’s heart? The shoes or the hat?
Neither, the actor needs shoes and hats to con the Baron – yes, he has false expenses the Baron, if you think it’s easy to maintain a girl who brings you almost nothing and costs you three times as much. Why take it out on the Baron? But to get his address book of course – what other way does this poor actor have to get on the biggest stages of the world? Personal recommendations – the Baron has lost his honor, but his family relationships still exist –

And this is how disasters happen: they all counted on the nice Alliochka to provide them with ladies’ shoes – but Alliochka is not nice and he doesn’t like those ladies, they are mean and ugly. He won’t do anything for anyone until he has conquered the heart of the beautiful Natasha. And he knows that Natasha loves strawberries, good strawberries all red on top of white cream, just whipped well, like the French do. Who’s going to get the strawberries? Whoever brings back the strawberries as soon as possible will get Alliochka’s shoes.

You wanted to know how to invent silly quests that would pit one against the other? Here it is – just like that.
And – hey , I stop here at the first characters.
There are still some missing from the game.
You forgot about Zob the Mover – and Zob the Mover will have to take care of Natasha’s unmoved lover – so… try…., come back with strawberries and it will be too late, the nice Alliochka will be stuck in a crate on his way to Timbuktu.
Or someone from your team will be there to protect him. That’s who you’ll see…

Isn’t that wonderful ? Of course it is absolutely wonderful !

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Featured Image : from the movie : Les bas-fonds, directed by Jean Renoir 1936

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