e.sport / tournament&show – page 9
I am sorry to write this with a mind and body as heavy as a buffalo tangled in rushes.
I am quite unable today to write lightly – I am just able to dream about it. So… I dream about lightness.
I’m still in the process of setting up an e.sport-spectacular tournament, e.sport &show, so that we finally manage to realize what is in the air today – that spectators participate in the action.
Well… I admit: casualness and tournament don’t go very well together. I know that a tournament is very serious and you don’t have fun with it – even if it’s a game.
But, from my point of view, with the Fool’s theme, you can’t be too serious.
The few suggestions for improvements I listed yesterday are not bad – but on the whole they lack lightness.
So let’s go for indolence, insolence, indifference to everything .
How to add lightness to training to kill, to steal, to lie, to cheat, to run, to carry, to seduce, to climb, to move like a cat?
By proposing silly, offbeat, completely irrelevant series.
For example, to increase the self-control, we could derive from current mini-games: in almost all games nowadays, you are made to drink liters of beer or adulterated alcohol and your character has a vision that becomes … blurred – at least – until it collapses.
Okay, I’ll do that.
The first game where I found this, I was delighted.
To find it again, in yet another video game, I’m less delighted, simply because it’s still the same “game”.
Whereas from then on, – and especially in Russia – it is so easy to offer some kind of quest to be carried out while intoxicated. In Red Dead Redemption, it was all about recognizing your partner in a crowd – the problem is that drunkenness leads you to see the same face in everyone: that’s good.
And having seen, with my own eyes, in Moscow, very nice gentlemen, in ties and everything, drunk as Poles, standing on tables, with a big sword in their hands and smashing everything around them while singing they didn’t even know what, I tell myself that drunken quests are just waiting to be exploited – you only have to look at drunks to find them.
Can you see the state of mind I’m looking for ?
I will therefore train myself very, very well to kill with a knife by wielding the knife in the cheese wheels – making identical ends, beautiful triangles cut cleanly, sharp notches – will only increase my abilities with this instrument.
This means that these wheels will resist me, and that at a low level, I will only manage to have some kind of pathetic peelings. You will be able to carve pieces of wood in the shape of? – I’ll see for the shapes, you’ll be able to play the knife game (not the one between your fingers, it’s over-taken by Red Dead Redemptions), and last but not least, since you’re in a world of poor people, you’ll be able to peel potatoes – in rhythm please.
I’ll train myself to steal discreetly like real pickpockets used to do: and here I am in front of a dummy covered with bells – every time I hit a bell, it’s missed.
The more I move towards the highlighted pocket, the more bells I avoid, the more I improve my ability
To run it’s obvious, there will be the dogs, me and the cheese wheel carried by Clap-trap. If I catch the cheese wheel, I practice with the knife – and eat a piece. If not, too bad for me, there’s still some rutabaga left.
To train myself to lie, I’ll have to tell the truth to at least three characters: since they won’t believe me, it’s up to me to figure out how to make them believe me.
A good cheater has a good memory and even better fingers: it will then be a matter of making blind fishing sinkers. You know, you heat the lead in a small pan, take the wire, put it in the mould, where you pour the molten lead: there will be time to see the placement of the objects and then it will be “black” – it’s up to you to see if you succeed.
The seducer returns the sublimated image of the person he seduces: he too will play the game of imitations: if others manage to recognize when he mimes a forest, when he imitates the voice of a fishing rod, then he will be ready to seduce the abominations that await him in phases 3 and 4.
As for practicing climbing, deep in a Russian suburb, in the middle of winter, then this one you will tell me three times before I find an idea.
The only way will be to put the huge pile of logs back in order – and since it’s winter, it will be covered with snow and frost – you won’t see the holes in the pile, you’ll just fall in.
To slip in like a cat, well it’s not so difficult to find, you’ll be in competition with the cat. Not for a mouse, the cat isn’t stupid, he’ll let you take it, you’ll give it to him anyway – no, for the cushion. The cat is not stupid, he won’t let you take the cushion.
The cushion, of course, is The forbidden place – for you as well as for the cat. If you are seen, you have lost.
And for strength, you can choose to do it the Roman way, carrying rocks on your back while running for turns and turns of blocks, you can save your buddy who’s dying under his mountain of logs, you can carry the ladies who are a little too fat in the muddy streets – you’ll have all the choices you can make to improve your strength.
In the last Assassin’s Creed, the characters confront each other in verbal jousts: it is necessary to identify the right sentence out of the 4 which makes it possible to answer with the desired rhythm and rhyme. It’s great. What would be even nicer would be if the players would propose their sentences, choosing between the rhyming words: there, the spectators choose. Okay, that’s not good…. it’s almost like entering the real world, can you believe it?
Well, I’m still moving forward. What’s completely idiotic in this approach is that it’s only a joke proposal, I’m not going to write the script for all this. I’m just trying to clarify what it might look like.
Something like that, then, but, obviously, better.
Featured Image : From La Voiture Immergée/ The Submerged Car – comics by Tillieux – excellent – absolutely excellent